It was on a late July day in 1988, that I gave up my striving and surrendered my life into the hands of Jesus Christ. I had tried all my life to overcome the obstacles in my life and to attain a level of success and happiness that simply was not to be. Since I had failed at nearly everything I tried, it was time to give up my dreams and aspirations and find what God wanted for my life.
Over the next 18-months I experienced the loving, healing work of the Holy Spirit in my life. For nearly a year after my break-up, I didn’t work and lived off my retirement savings. I began to devote hours to reading the Bible and other inspirational books and prayed unceasingly for the Lord to show me His will for my life. I took the opportunity to spend 6-weeks in Arizona and tried just to relax and clear my mind. Back in Wichita, I began attending several 12-step groups and began seeing a therapist to help me understand the wide range of emotions I was feeling.
What I was to learn was if I were to have right relationships with other people, I had to first have a right relationship with God (Matt. 6:33).
As I learned to surrender my life, God began to remake my inner man into a new person. Things that were once important were no longer important and my priorities and values were to do an about-face.
I met other Christian people and began to grow in my faith. I was strengthened in my spirit as I spent time reading the Scriptures and worshiping God. I became more active in the church serving as a deacon, Sunday school teacher, leading small group Bible studies, and a singles group leader.
One of my favorite areas of study was Eschatology, the doctrine of end-times. A small group of us formed a bible study and we began to dig into the deeper intricacies of Bible prophecy. Eventually the group dwindled to just David Bridges and myself, but that did not deter us. We would pull out our numerous Bible versions, Greek and Hebrew Interlinear, commentaries, Bible dictionaries, concordances, and maps as we attempted to better understand what God would have us know about the end-times.
My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
Grant C. Tullar
A New Life Mission
When I became a born-again Christian, I embarked on a new journey of seeking a way to make a difference in this world. As I poured over Scripture several messages stood out in my mind.
One was that God has given me a gift ( 1 Cor. 12), and I believe He EXPECTS me to use it. My desire is to be faithful to that calling and I look forward to hearing my Savior say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
Another was the importance of being authentic. I could no longer sit on the fence. Yes, my faith is a very personal thing, but it is also alive and active and it could not be kept hidden (Matt. 5:13-16).
Thirdly, God impressed on me of the importance of sharing my faith in a PRACTICAL way.
Along with concentrated study of Bible prophecy was a conviction that I personally had a responsibility to reach the lost with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The only problem was, I didn’t know how.
In the summer of 1991, Operation Rescue staged their “Summer of Mercy” in Wichita and I was confronted with an issue that I really had not thought too much of. I would say prior to this, I probably leaned toward being pro-choice. However, when the lines were drawn on the streets in front of the abortuaries I was to come face-to-face with what it meant to be pro-choice.
There really was only one choice: LIFE.
The Jeremiah Project
In 1992 I began publishing a printed newsletter called “The Jeremiah Project,” proclaiming God’s Word to a lost and dying world. My mailing list was limited and compiled from names found in newspaper articles, letters to the editor, and recommendations from others. I knew that I could not change others minds about what God says through His Word, and in fact, that’s not my responsibility or intent. But, He has called me to be a “watchman,” if you will, and to proclaim His truth through the ministry of the Jeremiah Project. Like Jeremiah, I feel I am “only a child” and have little influence to offer discernment in this hurting and dying world, but also like Jeremiah, I am willing to obey God and proclaim Him and His Word to those who are impoverished.
Early in 1996, the Lord moved me to continue publishing the material on the Internet with its greatly expanded audience and much lower cost. Since then, the Jeremiah Project site has grown in content and viewers have increased significantly.
I also began several other sites with somewhat related material. One was mostly political in nature, another focuses on some of the hypocrisy in our culture, and the wildly successful Featured Rush Limbaugh Sites.
Third Time a Charm?
A couple more women were to come into my life during this time. I met Sheryl in my singles group at church and we developed a pretty nice relationship. But, there was something I couldn’t identify that seemed to keep us from growing closer. I think perhaps God brought her into my life to encourage my faith. We got pretty serious but it was not to be.
On the other hand, Cammie sort of challenged my commitment to the Lord as she was not a born again Christian. She really was more a “feminist” and adherent of the Baha’i faith. Those things were certainly some friction points in our relationship. She had been married before and had four children. She was fun to be with but resisted any serious commitment. That relationship just sorta faded away, although we remain friends to this day.
Today, I’m not in relationship but I know God still has a work for me (1 Cor. 7:32-34). As I obey the Lord’s calling I learn more every day what it means by “not my will but thine.”
After a short stint of managing a wedding/portrait studio, in 1990 I went to work for Douglas Black & White in customer sales and as a PR photographer. This was a God-sent opportunity as I desperately wanted away from my previous job and over-controlling boss. The work was fun and challenging, but my boss always wanted to micro-manage me and never really allowed me to manage the studio as I wanted.
When Douglas Black & White began to enter the digital imaging business, my computer background made it possible for me to transition from traditional photo imaging to digital photo imaging. It was again exciting and challenging putting together their digital services. I was working with some pretty cutting edge imaging equipment and software, but once things were pretty much set up, my boss seemed to no longer need or appreciate my knowledge and expertise. Immediately following the Y2K non-event, I quit Douglas Photographic Imaging as it was now called and began the next chapter of my self-employed life.